Friday, August 7, 2009

IN OUR HEARTS, WE ALL KNOW PATRICIA

Patricia first contacted me almost a year ago, sharing her deep and wonderful experience of reading The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood. Yesterday I received this letter from her, and am sharing it here with her permission. As pet parents, we can all relate. Please join me in holding Patricia, Buddy, and all grieving pet parents in light and love during their time of deep transition.

"Dear Nadine:

I don't know if you remember me, I am the lady from "Warehouse Vitamins" that wrote some time ago about my dog, "Buddy."

My dearest and most trusted companion fell ill, on the 23rd of July. Before I knew what was happening, and the vet miss-diagnosed him to have valley fever, and after a full panel of blood work, we discovered that his kidneys were failing.

He fell much worse by the 27th of July. Although I tried several times to get him in sooner to the vet, they were reluctant to see the urgency of my precious boy, so took him to another vet, his little kidneys were breaking down. After years of battling stones in his bladder and two surgeries, his little kidneys just could not keep up.


His little heart was enlarged and to flush the kidneys would affect the heart, and he was in such pain, that he was telling me that it was time to go. I had spent the night before nursing him and trying to make him comfortable, he kept getting up trying to tell me he had to go somewhere. After tears of heartbreak and bewilderment, I took him in early to find that his pain was too much to bear. Between the advise of a vet, of whom I have never met but was truly in tune with Buddy we decided to put him to sleep.

Buddy was to receive a sedative first, but as my baby lay in my arms with eyes wide open, looking at his mama, he was telling me he wanted me to go through this transition with him. The doctor then administered the narcotic, and little Buddies eyes were open the whole time, as I told him that mama is right here, you'll not feel any more pain, and that you are such a brave boy, and a good boy,and then the love of my life, had left... his lifeless body left with eyes left on me. Oh the grief, the heart wrenching break of almost 16 years with my most trusted friend was gone.

Your book became alive in my life! The emptiness, at home, my babies little bed empty the space of once shared on the floor is somewhat out of order now that I just keep looking for my precious "Buddy!"


Oh Nadine , I think people think I am crazy to love my boy as I did! But it gives me great relief to write this with an understanding heart on the other end. Please keep me in your prayers, the nights are long, and the mornings are the worst. But we will endure, Buddy would of wanted mama to.

With much love,

Patricia C."

16 comments:

Joy Collins said...

My heart breaks to read these words, Patricia. I know only too well what you are going through. But you were a good Mom to Buddy and he had a wonderful, loving life with you. Sending prayers and God's blessings to help her during this sad time.

Aimee said...

It's never easy to lose a loved pet, and it's something that only other pet lovers can understand. I am sorry for your loss Patricia.

Nadine M. Rosin/ author, speaker, holistic pet care advocate said...

Thank you, Joy and Aimee...I know Patricia will deeply appreciate your comforting comments.♥♥♥

reyesanj said...

Patricia,

So sorry about your loss. It's never easy to lose a pet. I volunteer for the PSPCA for the Feral/stray cat program and I've lived 3 losses and seen many more. It's never easy. I pray that you find peace and comfort. In another note Buddy has crossed the rainbow bridge and it's watching you healthy and happily while he plays with other doggies that also have crossed the rainbow bridge.

Cindy Fearon, RYT/LMT said...

Dear Patricia, I am so sorry to hear of your grief. I have been there too and know how much it hurts. Words are too often inadequate to provide comfort, just know that you are in my thoughts & prayers, & your boy will always be with you just in a different way.

Sending much love & peace,

Cindy

Corinne said...

No one who has known the love of a furry member of the family will think you crazy Patricia. It is so hard when they leave us. May the memories of your wonderful times together with Buddy and the knowledge that he is pain-free and frolicking on the Rainbow Bridge give you strength and comfort.

Your Daily Cute said...

Awww... Patricia, your story is heart-breaking and beautiful at the same time. How lucky you and Buddy were to have each other!

As hard as it was to make the decision, you were there for him when he needed it the most, and I'm sure he deeply understood and appreciated it. There may be an empty little space where Buddy once was in the house, but that space will never be empty in your heart!

So sorry for your loss -- and so happy for you that you got to have such a great friend.

Bibliopet said...

Sending much love and support to you Patricia. Deepest sympathies on the passing of beautiful Buddy. Good for you for following your feelings / instincts and being so wonderfully in tune with Buddy and what he wanted - especially since your first vet was not as supportive for you both as they may have been.

Well done for telling Buddy the things you wanted him to know and thanking him. I did this with my first Mal too, after my breeder suggested it to me, when he was very ill with cancer. I found it difficult to say these things but I believe it helps them and at the very least they get the feeling of what we're saying.

Thank you also Nadine for sharing Patricia's letter with us. Love from Peta x

ann wilson said...

oh lordy... reading patricia's message flooded my heart and my eyes with tears. sending my prayers to patricia that the tears will soon be replaced by smiles when she remembers the love she and buddy were so blessed to share. she gave him the most difficult but the greatest gift of love there is....

R.I.P. buddy and may you rise on angel's wings to soar forever.

Leslie said...

My heart aches for you, we lost a beloved pet in April. It is never easy, just know that Buddy loved you very much.

Shannon said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Patricia. Keeping you in my thoughts. Rest in peace, Buddy.

TC said...

Patricia I had to have my dog Mugsey put to sleep on the 30th, on the 24th he had been hit by a car or kidnapped and injured while escaping, we will never know. He was a beautiful Marley look alike. Tears are once again pouring down my face. You are in my thoughts.

Jo Cannon said...

Patricia, my heart breaks for you.

I don't think you're crazy at all ... I think people who don't feel this way when they lose a loved one are crazy. My beautiful GSD, Clifford, died in February and not a day passes by when I don't sob my heart out for him. When he died, I didn't eat a thing for ten days - I think I wanted a visible statement of the pain I was feeling inside. He was my whole life, everything else was transient and, like you, I stared at his empty bed and his favourite toys and felt as though my heart had literally broken.

The only comfort I felt was knowing that people understood. Grieving for a pet is such an isolating experience - when a person dies, the whole world is behind you; when you lose a pet, there are very few people who understand.

Buddy sounds an amazing person and I can tell by the way you write about him how much he meant to you. I think that when you love someone that much, they never really leave you - I am sure Buddy is with you now, watching over you - as Clifford watches over me. One day we will all be reunited, and until then we have to stay positive and make the most of every day ... as our boys would want us to.

Stay strong
Jo
x

Brew City Tails said...

Pets play a bigger role in our daily lives than some humans do, they give us unconditional love, never say a mean word to us and are always there when we need them.

It is no surprise that we mourn a furry friend the same as we do our human friends.

You are not alone, Patricia. There are millions of us out here who go through the same feelings of loss when our furry friends leave this live and wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge.

Linda M said...

Patricia - what a lovely & heartbreaking letter. Tears are flowing from my eyes as I type this note. It's only been a couple of weeks since Buddy's passing and I know the pain is still raw. I've been through it myself and I'm preparing for it again as my Reba is approaching 14 with increasing health issues. Take comfort in the memories, the wonderful life you gave Buddy and the joy he brought to you. Take comfort in the knowledge that you have sisters and brothers who understand and are sending warm healing thoughts your way.

treehugger said...

I just lost my beautiful boy Ranger to hip dysplasia. He was all there but was so crippled I couldn't do anything else. He suffered too much. He overcame his pain just to be with me. HE was so brave and loyal. I couldn't let him keep going dragging himself around, getting worse and worse. its been horrible. the grief is difficult because I can't just 'move on'. I loved my Rangie. He loved me more than any one person on the planet besides my parents. I experienced more of the love of God with my Ranger then I ever did in church. I spoke his language finally after he trained me. LOL I want to find another friend but I need time to heal. I don't know what to do with his ashes. Its hard to hug a container and nothing I put him in will be good enough. Thanks for letting me share my grief here. At least I know its normal and it will take time. One thing I do know, there is another pound puppy out there that I can take in and save and love with all my heart when the time is right. Thanks for letting me share with like minded people who understand. God bless
Sheila